


please stop assuming that anyone remotely similar to me is a test-tube baby

by antukini



Series: sleepy does camp nano april 2020 [28]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mokuton!Obito, Parental Senju Tobirama, Time Travel, does he succeed? idk, hashirama stop thinking any youngster with a hint of similarities to, hashirama thinks obito is madatobi's test tube baby, i'm going to make that tag official mark my words, madara wants to set hashirama's hair on fire, your brother and best friend is a test-tube baby challenge failed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23895514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antukini/pseuds/antukini
Summary: There is a teen—possibly Uchiha but he doesn’t remember any of clan’s brats wearing such goggles nor with that chakra signature, he knows all his clansmen’s signatures and this one feels like a campfire in the midst of a sprawling forest—seated on the couch, fidgeting with what seems to be his uniform and the ends of his Konoha hitaiate.Hashirama looms over his desk with an ominous air, his forehead on his interlocked fingers and hiding his face.What the fuck is going on.
Relationships: Senju Hashirama & Uchiha Madara, Senju Tobirama & Uchiha Obito, Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara
Series: sleepy does camp nano april 2020 [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1686649
Comments: 26
Kudos: 619





	please stop assuming that anyone remotely similar to me is a test-tube baby

**Author's Note:**

> prompt fill for anonymous on tumblr who requested: Teen Obito is transported to the past next. He looks just like Madara and he has mokuton (he could be a Senju by blood in this verse).
> 
> me: *says they’re not accepting prompts anymore*  
> also me: *ends up writing it anyway bcos i’m a sucker*
> 
> ...i can’t even trust myself

Madara walks into Hashirama’s office with Tobirama in tow only to stop only a step past the doorway when he takes in the scene before him.

There is a teen—possibly Uchiha but he doesn’t remember any of clan’s brats wearing such goggles nor with that chakra signature, he knows all his clansmen’s signatures and this one feels like a campfire in the midst of a sprawling forest—seated on the couch, fidgeting with what seems to be his uniform and the ends of his Konoha hitaiate.

Hashirama looms over his desk with an ominous air, his forehead on his interlocked fingers and hiding his face.

What the fuck is going on.

Tobirama shifts to stand beside him, his brow probably raised in curiosity.

“Madara,” Hashirama finally says, his voice ringing throughout the hush in the room.

“Uh? Yeah?” He’d just gone here with Tobirama for some signatures they needed; why is Hashirama sounding like a mother calmly enraged about her children doing something untoward and arriving home late?

Hashirama lifts his head, the light behind him giving him an intimidating look. Madara’s half tempted to look out the window to see if Izuna is joining Hashirama in his bullshit.

“Tell me the truth.” Hashirama leans forward, putting his chin on his interlocked fingers.

“About what?” Madara doesn’t get it. He looks to Tobirama for support.

No luck. Tobirama is staring at the teen on the couch, narrow eyes wide in surprise.

Madara looks at his best friend, face scrunched in confusion.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE PLANNING ON MAKING A TEST-TUBE BABY WITH MY BABY BROTHER?!” Hashirama’s intimidating façade crumbles as his eyes suddenly pour out tears like some tan, human waterfall.

Multiple angry ticks throb on Madara’s person in quick succession. Not this shit again. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING?? TOBIRAMA DOESN’T EVEN DABBLE IN GENETICS LAST I CHECKED!”

“BUT— BUT THIS CHILD HAS MOKUTON AND LOOKS LIKE YOU!”

“WHAT?!” Madara’s eyes widen so much that they’re threatening to bug out of his eye sockets.

Hashirama frantically gestures at the fidgeting teen on the couch who pauses like a frozen scared rodent then waves shyly.

“I don’t even recognize this kid!” He throws up his gloved hands in exasperation. “Where did you come from?” Madara directs his question to the kid, hands settling on his hips. Hashirama’s just going to end up spouting more nonsense and he’ll be left with no other option than to set his hair on fire again to try and liven up some of his dead braincells.

“Uh,” is all that comes out of the kid’s mouth.

“He appeared here in a flash of light like Kakashi-kun!” Hashirama butts in.

Madara levels a glare at him disdain.

“Are you Kakashi-san’s friend, by any chance?” Tobirama finally speaks up.

“Uh. Yes, sir!” Huh. The kid _does_ have a different eye like that Kakashi kid from a few weeks ago now that Madara looks closely.

“Your name?” Tobirama’s voice doesn’t lose its calming and deep timbre.

Madara valiantly tries to not lean into him and mildly succeeds. He mentally chastises himself, this is not the place. He can listen to Tobirama talk later at home, dammit. He used to have better self-control than this.

“U— Uchiha Obito, sir,” the kid—Obito, apparently—says.

“How did you get here, Obito?” There’s a light in Tobirama’s red eyes that say he already has suspicions on how the kid got here. He’s probably right.

“Uh.” Obito rubs at his spiky hair. “I accidentally activated the seal Kakashi set off that landed him here,” he ends with an awkward laugh.

He probably meant to activate it.

“My brother tells us you have the mokuton?”

“Y— yes.” Obito demonstrates by sprouting a flower on the table in front of him.

Hashirama apparently couldn’t take being silent anymore. “SEE?! LOOK AT HIM! HE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE A YOUNGER MADARA WITH SHORTER HAIR!”

Oh no. _Fuck no_. He’s not standing for this shit anymore. He’s going to set his stupid silky fucking hair on _fire_.

Madara lunges, clearing the desk and tackling Hashirama onto the floor in one angry motion. 

Hashirama tries to wiggle out of his hold as Madara readies a katon in his lungs.

“STAY STILL, YOU GODSFORSAKEN LOG!”

To the side of the room with the couch, well out of the range of their scuffling, Tobirama glances at the teen beside him. He seems a bit hungry.

It’s only right that he entertains their young guest. Those signatures can wait until after the teen gets home and the two scuffling idiots in the office calm down.

“Let’s leave the fools, shall we?”

Obito only nods dumbly in response.

-

Kakashi had told his team about the founders and their peculiarities but it hadn’t prepared Obito for this at all.

Kagami-jii’s stories are all true. Kakashi had vouched for them after his impromptu trip to the past but it’s still surreal to experience in person.

Especially the white-haired Senju brother’s apparent penchant for taking in kids like his own.

The fearsome White Demon of the Senju from the history book is currently treating him to dango and Obito still feels like he’s having a fever dream.

How the fuck did Kakashi manage to keep his cool with any of them.

Even just alone with _the_ Senju Tobirama is already making his brain threaten to abscond.

Senju Tobirama is ruffling his hair and his hand is so _warm_.

What the fuck.

He raises his head to look at warm red eyes only a shade off from the sharingan.

“Are you all right?” The man tilts his head.

“Y— yes, sir!” Obito can feel a blush creeping up his face. Fuck.

“Just ‘Tobirama,’ please.”

“Uh— yes, sir! Tobirama, sir!”

Tobirama lets out a warm chuckle. “That will do.” Then he ruffles his hair again before focusing on eating his dango, not paying mind to Obito’s embarrassed flush.

Obito starts thinking about what he can give the Hatake in thanks for telling him about the time-traveling array.

Maybe some dango.

**Author's Note:**

> the tumblr post of this prompt fill is [here](https://antukini.tumblr.com/post/616661022037688320/me-says-theyre-not-accepting-prompts-anymore)
> 
> i didn’t get to say it here but obito’s mom is a senju descended from the senju brothers’ cousin (not touka btw) in this verse so he's part senju ~~and a candidate for awakening the rinnegan~~
> 
> ...i have no self-control ...but since i haven’t been very inspired in the last few years i’ll just treasure these requests that inspire me hhh
> 
> [tumblr](https://antukini.tumblr.com/)   
>  [twitter](https://twitter.com/antukini)


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